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Deployment Tips
Tips for Military Spouses
- Do something special to welcome your spouse home-help the children
make a welcome banner, make your spouse's favorite dessert, etc., but be
understanding and flexible if your spouse is too tired to notice.
- Give your spouse time to adjust to being home. Don't tightly schedule
activities for them. Don't expect them to take on all their old chores
right away. Understand that your spouse may need time to adjust to a
different time zone, a change in food, etc.
- Plan on some family togetherness time. Suggest a picnic or a special
family meal. Time together helps the returning spouse to get back into the
rhythm of family life.
- Be patient and tolerant with your spouse. He or she may not do things
exactly as before. New experiences during deployment may bring changes to
attitude and outlook.
- Stick to your household budget. Don't spend money you don't have on
celebrating your spouse's return. Show you care through your time and
effort.
- Don't be surprised if your spouse is a little hurt by how well you
were able to run the household and manage the children without them. Let
them know that your preference is to share family and household
responsibilities with them no matter how well you did on your own.
- Stay involved with your children's school activities and interests.
Don't neglect the children's need for attention as you are becoming
reacquainted with your spouse.
- Stay involved in your own activities and interests, but be flexible
about making time for your spouse.
- Don't be surprised if children test the limits of the family rules
when your spouse returns. It's normal for children to want to find out how
things may have changed by acting up a bit. Consistent enforcement of
family rules and even-handed discipline are key to dealing with acting
out.
Remember:
- Go slowly - don't try to make up for lost time
- Accept that your partner may be different
- Intimate relationships may be awkward at first
- Take time to get reacquainted
- Forget your fantasies
- Reassure your children
- Seek help for family members if needed
(Developed by David Gretsch, Mobilization & Development, Ft. Hood MWR)
Deployment Checklist
General
 Attend mobilization meetings
and take notes
Know the exact name of unit
Know the names and ranks of
chain of command
Have a copy of your service
member's orders
Know service member's travel
itinerary
Know service member's full
name, social security number, and complete military address
Have emergency plans in
place
Your Finances
Plan ahead
Discuss what and when bills
are due, where receipts are kept, etc.
Have enough saved
Create family budget
Around the House
Extra set of car keys
List of repair persons to
call
Location of utility
(water/electricity/gas) shut off valves
Know your neighbors
Family Matters
Child care plan
Elder care plan
Emergency plan for pets
Legal Affairs
Have Will
Have Power of Attorney
Have Military I.D.
Communications
Pre-addressed, stamped post
cards, pens
Seek counseling if necessary
Red Cross
There may come a time when you - or a family member - may require our
services and we'll be there.
Tips for Returning Military Members
- Plan on spending some time with the entire family doing family things,
but be flexible if teens have other plans.
- Show interest and pleasure in how your family members have grown and
mastered new skills in your absence and let them know you are proud of
them. Comment on positive changes.
- Expect it will take a little time to become reacquainted with your
spouse. Be sure to tell them just how much you care about them.
- Resist the temptation to criticize. Remember that your spouse has been
doing his or her best to run the household single-handedly and care for
the children while you were gone.
- Take time to understand how your family may have changed during the
separation. Go easy on child discipline-get to know what new rules your
spouse may have set before you jump into enforcing the household rules.
- Don't be surprised if some family members are a bit resentful of your
deployment. Others often think of the deployment as more fun and exciting
than staying at home-even if you know otherwise.
- Infants and small children may be shy or even fearful around you at
first. Be patient and give them time to become reacquainted.
- Resist the temptation to go on a spending spree to celebrate your
return. The extra money saved during deployment may be needed later for
unexpected household expenses.
- Most importantly, make time to talk with your loved ones. Your spouse
and each child need individual time and attention from you. Remember,
focus on the positives and avoid criticism.
Communication will help to:
- Reestablish intimate and sexual relations
- Bring you closer together
- Accept change
Remember:
- Go slowly - don't try to make up for lost time
- Spend quality time with each child
- Accept that your partner may be different
- Intimate relationships may be awkward at first
- Take time to get reacquainted
- Forget your fantasies
(Developed by David Gretsch, Mobilization & Development, Ft. Hood MWR)
How to Use the American Red Cross During Family Emergencies When a
National Guard or Reserve Member is Absent
No one ever said that families of the Reserve Component (Reserves and
National Guard) or any other community-based military was going to be easy
for you. Military life, in fact, often creates unforeseen hardships. The
good news is that the American Red Cross helps community-based military
members and their families cope with separation and other special needs
related to service in the armed forces. You are entitled to the same
valuable Red Cross emergency services as the families of full time active
duty military personnel.
If your loved one is away from home because of military duty and you need
to get in touch with him or her in the event of an emergency, then the
American Red Cross can help. To assist us in quickly locating your them and
sending an emergency message, please have ready the following information:
- Service Member's Full Name
- Rank/Rating
- Branch of Service
- Social Security Number
- Military Address
- Information about the deployed unit and the home base unit (for
deployed service members only)
The Red Cross verifies this information and relays it to the appropriate
command where it is up to the military whether the service member returns
home. Remember, a service member can only come home in an emergency
situation.
Be prepared
Always have your local Red Cross chapter or station phone number readily
available and share the above information with a trusted friend.
Stay in touch with loved ones
Red Cross worldwide emergency communications network operates 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. They can help you send emergency
messages regarding the death or serious illness of a family member, the
birth of a child, or other family emergencies.
Get verification of emergency leave information
Red Cross can provide your Reservist's or Guardsman's commander with fast,
reliable information to help make decisions regarding emergency leave.
Secure emergency financial assistance
The Red Cross collaborates with the military aid societies in providing
financial assistance when an urgent personal or family crisis arises, that
is, when your service member might need financial assistance for emergency
travel, burial of a loved one, or urgent health and welfare needs such as
food and shelter.
©
Copyright The American National Red Cross. All Rights Reserved
This site was last updated
08/14/08
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